The Higher You go...
by AngelLouize
Summary: Chapters 7, 8 and 9 now up and chapters 8 and 9 are MINUS THE FUNNY SYMBOLS! After Lockdown. There's trouble in paradise for Carter and Abby, Susan is reunited with an old flame and will Luka get his heart broken again? Carby Lusan Carsan
1. New Beginnings

The Higher you go...  
Chapter 1: New Beginnings  
  
  
  
SusanÕs eyelids began to flutter with exhaustion. She had worked for more hours thean she cared to remember and was franticly searching the ER trying to find a room to collapse in. There had been an epidemic in the hospital of smallpox and no-one was allowed to leave yet.   
  
Exam 1 lay at the end of the corridor mearly meters away from where she now stood. However her legs felt heavy and all energy had drained from her body. As she finally reached the door she silently prayed it was empty. She was in for a big shock.  
  
There lay Carter and Abby. They were kissing passionately until she walked in when they flew apart. The pain rushed through her. Although her and Carter had broken up and she knew he had feelings for Abby deep down she still loved him. And deep down she always thought she would get him back.  
  
ÒOh my god IÕm so sorryÓÓSusan- donÕt worry- we shouldnÕt be in here, did you want something?ÓÓNo- well just a place to crash- IÕm exhausted. But donÕt worry IÕll go find another roomÓ  
ÒThanks and SusanÓÓYeah?ÓÓCan you not tell anyone about us?ÓÓSure CarterÓ  
The sound of her voice made her tingle and this feeling remained long after she gently closed the door. She could barely hear the noise of the door closing over the pounding of her heart and suddenly all her exhaustion had gone. She knew perfectly well every other room was full and there was no where for her to sleep. It looked like another cup of coffee.  
  
As she entered the lounge she considered the possibility of sleeping on the sofa. A deep voice shocked her and brought her out of her daydream.  
ÒHey SusanÓÓLuka- you scared me. I didnÕt think anyone else was in hereÓÓIÕm taking a break- thereÕs no more patients and no where to goÓÓMind if I join you?ÓÓOh course notÓ  
Luka moved along the sofa and Susan sat down. Her feet ached and her head pounded. She had a migraine coming on. The feeling go exhaustion once again returned to her body and she realised just how tired she was.  
  
ÒAre you okay? I mean you look a little tiredÓÓIm exhausted. But I donÕt think itÕs that- I just saw something I really didnÕt want to seeÓÓWhat did you see?ÓÓIÕm not really supposed to sayÓÓI promise not to tell anyone- hey ItÕs not like I have many people to tell. ItÕs not like I have any friends here in Chicago or anything!ÓÓHey- you have friends. I donÕt know if I should... itÕs not really my secret to tellÓÓCarter and Abby?ÓÓHow did you know?ÓÓI walked into Exam 1ÓÓOh- you looking for a bed as well?ÓÓYeah. They looked kinda embarrassedÓÓI just donÕt think I can handle seeing them together every dayÓÓYou still got a thing for Carter?ÓÓYeah. Well no. Not a thing- thereÕs just something there. I donÕt think I really ever wanted us to break up. For me the relationship was going greatÓÓWhy did you break up then?ÓÓHerÓ  
ÒRight...Ó  
An uncomfortable silence descended between them. All Susan wanted to do was sleep and she was sure Luka felt the same way. She only hoped she wouldnÕt bump into Carter and Abby again today. Today was not SusanÕs lucky day.  
  
ÒHey guysÓÓHey Carter. Hey AbbyÓ  
  
Susan couldnÕt muster a word. Her throat was dry and scratchy and her voice felt hoarse. Tears pricked at her eyes and she had to rub them furiously to stop a waterfall cascading down her cheek. She forced a smile and quietly repeated LukaÕs greeting.  
  
ÒHey Carter. Hey AbbyÓ The words slowly creeped out and she could feel the glare of the other three staring at her. They knew something was wrong but luckily- like a knight in shining armour- Luka rescued her.  
  
ÒSo- either of you two know when we can escape from here?Ó  
  
Susan gave out a deep sigh of relief and flashed Lukla a grateful glance. He smiled slightly at her.   
  
ÒNope- I hope soon thoughÓÓYeah me tooÓÓActually I might go and ask Jerry if thereÕs any newsÓ  
ÒIÕll go with youÓ  
ÒOk- see you later guysÓÓByeÓÓOh and if thereÕs any news come and tell usÓÓSureÓ  
  
There were a few seconds of silence before Susan finally plucked up the courage to speak.  
  
ÒThank youÓÓFor what?ÓÓHelping me out. I just didnÕt know what to sayÓ  
ÒI understandÓÓItÕs just so hardÓÓWatching someone you love fall in love with someone else always isÓ  
ÒDo you still have feelings for AbbyÓÓIÕm not sure- maybe. I think I always will. But IÕve known she was in love with Carter for a long time- I think IÕve come to terms with it.ÓÓI think youÕve just got to let them be happyÓ  
ÒHowever hard it isÓ  
Just then the door flew open. Carter entered followed by Abby. They had their hands entwined and Carter held something in the other.  
  
ÒHey guys- once youÕve had your immunisations youÕre free to goÓ  
  
ÒWow- ItÕs good to be back in fresh air againÓÓYeah- I missed itÓ  
The cold Chicago breeze cooled SusanÕs face. Before she had been exhausted but she was now feeling once again very awake. She watched Abby and Carter leave the hospital and she and Luka both raised a hand to wave goodbye. She smiled. At least Carter was happy.  
  
ÒYou want to get some coffee?Ó Luka signalled towards Doc Magoos  
ÒSure- that sounds goodÓ  
  
They found a table by the window and sat down. The smell of coffee drifted towards them. Susan loved the smell of coffee especially early in the morning. Luka was eagerly scanned the menu.  
ÔYou ready to order?ÓÓYeah IÕll just have a coffeeÓ  
ÒThat all?ÓÓIÕm not hungryÓ  
ÒWell if your sureÓLuka hailed a waitress and ordered a coffee for susan and a cream cheese and smoke salmon bagel for himself. He smiled at her warmly and suddenly realised how beautiful she was. The morning light shining from the windows of Doc Magoos lit up her face and made her blonde hair glimmer. Just then the waitress walked towards them and diverted LukaÕs attention. His bagel was here and he was starving.  
  
  
Two and a half hours later Susan and Luka left Doc Magoos. She was suprised at how much she had enjoyed herself and amazingly tiredness still hadnÕt caught up with her.  
ÒSo... which way you headed?ÓÓLeft- you?ÓÓAhhh- rightÓÓOh I guess IÕll see you tomorrow then- are you working?ÓÓYeah tomorrow nightÓÓOkay then- until tomorrow bye. Oh and Luka-ÓÓYeahÓ  
ÒI had a really great timeÓÓMe tooÓ  
ÒI better get goingÓÓHey- SusanÓÓYeahÓÓYou want a lift?ÓÓYou sure itÕs not out of your way?ÓÓCome onÓ  
  
  
**********************  
  
The ringing of an alarm awoke Carter. He had only a few hours sleep and was exhausted but it was time to return to the ER already. He watched AbbyÕs chest rise and fall and she breathed in and out. Her hair was spread around her face and she twisted and turned constantly. He didnÕt like to use someoneÕs shower without asking but he didnÕt want to wake her either. He decided as they were dating using her shower should bre okay and opened the door into the bathroom.   
  
The water pounded hard on his back. The water was cold but he needed waking up at the moment. He looked across to the window. There was a great view of a fabulous brick wall. His house was very different to AbbyÕs apartment but in a way he couldnÕt help feeling jealous. It was so warm and cosy. He remembered as a child wandering the empty acres of space in his house. It didnÕt matter how many people were in it- somehow it always managed to feel lonely and deserted.   
  
As Carter climbed out of the shower a shiver ran through him. His body was covered in goose bumps and beads of water dripped from his hair. He cleaned his teeth and went back into the bedroom. Abby was still fast asleep. He got dressed and searched for a piece of paper. Eventually finding one he scribbled a note for abby  
  
Abby,  
Gone to Work. IÕll see you when your shift starts at 10- Doc Magoos for Lunch?  
I love you- last night was wonderful.  
Have an Amazing Day  
Love,  
John  
  
***********************  
  
ÒHey Luka!ÓÓSusan- heyÓÓBeen a busy night huh?ÓÓYeah- you off yet?ÓÓIÕm off around about- Now!ÓÓHey IÕm off as well- wanna grab something to eat?ÓÓSure- where do you wanna go?ÓÓUmmm- I know this cute little Italian place just round the cornerÓÓSounds greatÓ  
  
**********************  
  
The street was totally dark except for the shining light of the moon that lit up the surroundings. Everywhere was quiet and there was no-one around. It was slightly eerie and Susan was glad Luka was there. She wouldnÕt have wanted to be alone on a night like this.  
  
ÒThis is my place- thank you for a great eveningÓÓItÕs my pleasure- I enjoyed itÓÓMe tooÓ  
ÒOKay I better be goingÓÓGood Night LukaÓÓGoodnight SusanÓ  
  
Susan watched as Luka walked down the street descending into the darkness. He turned back and gave her a broad smile. He continued to look back until he reached the end of the street where he turned left out of SusanÕs sight. She had a funny feeling Luka would still be wearing that smile on his face now.  
******************  
  
ÒKerry- have you seen Abby?ÓÓNope Sorry CarterÓ  
ÒHey Luka wait upÓÓHey CarterÓÓHave you seen Abby?ÓÓNope- is she working today?ÓÓI thought so- never mind thanks anywayÓ  
ÒSusanÓÓNo I havenÕt seen AbbyÓÓOkay thanksÓ  
  
Where is she? Carter had been searching for Abby all day and there was still no trace of her. She should have been working today but she was no where to be found. There had been no reply from her house last night either. He hadnÕt called round because he had worked all day and was exhausted but it would be his first stop and soon as this damn shift was over.   
  
Carter was still lost deep in his thoughts when a female voice grabbed his attention. He looked up and saw a mass of blonde hair surrounding the pretty face of his ex-girlfriend Susan Lewis.  
  
ÒCarter- I said IÕll cover youÕre shift- go look for herÓÓSusan- thank you so muchÓÓItÕs okay you helped me out when Chloe went AWOL with little Susie- I think itÕs my turn to do you a favour now- donÕt you?ÓÓIÕll only be an hourÓÓTake as long as you wantÓ  
  
**********************  
  
ÒSusan- why are you still here?ÓÓIÕm covering for CarterÓÓRight- but he was here earlierÓÓI know- heÕs looking for AbbyÓÓYou still cut up about them?ÓÓNo- IÕm over itÓÓDoes that mean youÕre available again for dinner tonight?ÓÓSure but CArter still isnÕt back so until then-Ó The opening of the lounge door stopped Susan in her tracks. Suddenly a familiar face appeared from around the door ÓCarter?Ó  
ÒHey- you can goÓÓYou find her?Ó  
Carter didnÕt respond verbally instead he thrust a note into SusanÕs hand and looked at the floor. She could tell he was embarrassed.  
  
  
  
Carter,  
  
Sorry But I needed to get away. It was all too much- the kiss, us, everything. It came too fast and I wasnÕt ready for it. IÕÕm staying with my brother Eric for a while in Phoenix. I hope you understand. I just need a bit of space- I will be back as soon as I can. I love you- this isnÕt youÕre fault.  
Sorry- IÕll be back  
Love Always  
  
Abby X  
  
Susan passed the note back to Carter who remained still, head down eyes towards the floor. He looked up at Luka.  
ÒYou wanna read it too?ÓÓSureÓ Carter shoved the note violently into LUkaÕs hands.   
ÒI wonÕt read it if you donÕt want me toÓÓRead itÓ  
Luka finished reading and handed the note to CArter.  
ÒShe will come backÓ  
ÒI hope youÕre right about that.  
  
******************************* 


	2. Choices

Chapter 2: Choices  
  
  
  
Abby had been gone for almost a week when Carter recieved the phone call. He had been in the middle of a trauma but as soon as Jerry told him who it was he stopped immediately. Susan and Luka both offered to help but Kerry insisted she could handle it. He felt the beads of sweat forming on his palms as he picked up the reciever and heard her voice, Loud and clear.  
  
ÒIÕm sorry CarterÓÓItÕs nice of you to callÓÓIÕm sorryÓÓSo hows PhoenixÓÓCarter I said IÕm sorryÓÓI heard youÓÓI just couldnÕt handle it allÓ  
ÒAre you drinkingÓÓNoÓ  
ÒReally?ÓÓNo Carter IÕm not drinking- Are you taking drugs again?ÓÓYou donÕt mean that muchÓÓI donÕt?ÓÓNoÓ  
ÒFineÓÓSo what did you call for?ÓÓIÕm coming back to ChigacoÓÓOh you are- good for youÓÓIÕm brining Erik with meÓÓI look forward to meeting him. Sorry but some of us have a job to do I have to goÓÓIÕm coming back on SundayÓ  
ÒByeÓ  
************************  
  
ÒShe coming back?ÓÓYeahÓ  
  
Susan wondered what was wrong with Carter now. His girlfriend was finally coming back to Chigaco. He shouyld be ecstatic. But then again this last week had been hard for him. The two of them had started to grow close and she had found herslef wishing Abby wasnÕt coming back. Her and Carter had never really been the same since they broke up and this week had been great. They could talk about anything and everything- she had missed having Carter there.  
  
ÒYou donÕt seem too happy about itÓÓIÕm notÓÓCarter- I know she hurt you but you must want her backÓÓThe strange thing is I donÕt. SheÕs selfish and she hurts me and that canÕt be goodÓÓWhen you love someone there bad bits shouldnÕt matterÓÓI donÕt love herÓÓYou donÕt!?ÓÓNo. I like her- very much but love its just-ÓÓToo strong a wordÓÓYeah- IÕve just never really used it with a girlfriend beforeÓ  
ÒMe either- except...ÓÓMarkÓÓThat was a different kind of love. But Mark yeah. And ErikÓÓWhoÕs Erik?ÓÓThis guy I knew- a long time ago- broke my heartÓÓYou wanna talk about him?Ó  
ÒNot reallyÓÓOkay then- if youÕre sureÓÓIÕm sureÓ  
  
**********************  
  
Luka searched for arrivals. He still couldnÕtt understand why Abby had called him but all he knew was Carter was once again being a jerk. The guy just couldnÕt help it. I mean youÕre girlfriend comes back after being away for more than a week and the guy doesnÕt even bother to come pick her up- what a loser.   
  
Finally he saw Abby. She looked fantastic in a black leather jacket and jeans. Next to her stood a goodlooking young man- he could only be a year or two younger than Abby. Luka vaguely recalled Abby telling him they were 18 months apart. The Lockhart good looks had been inherited by him also. He wore a large grin across his face and was laughing as Luka approached.  
  
ÒHey Luka!ÓÓHey AbbyÓÓLuka this is my brother Erik. Erik this is a friend of mine- Luka Kovac. He works at the hospital wih meÓ  
Erik reached forwards and shook Lukas hand. He had a strong grip and close up Luka studied his face more intensely. He looked a lot like Abby- the same eyes. He was a big guy- 6Õ1 or possibly 6Õ2. He had broad shoulder and looked like a football player. He was also wearing a leather jacket teamed with black trousers and a white shirt. He carried both his and AbbyÕs case easily. By the size of his suitcase it looked as if he could be staying for a while.   
  
*******************  
  
ÒCarter!Ó  
SusanÕs voice was loud and piercing above the sounds in the almost silent ER. Carter turned to face her and tried to force a smile- it didnÕt work. He just couldnÕt manage to fake enthusiasm- not today.  
  
ÒYou look happyÓÓSorry- IÕm just not in a great mood todayÓÓOh I forgot- AbbyÕs coming back right?ÓÓYeahÓÓYou not going to get her?ÓÓNope. I havenÕt spoken to her since Friday morningÓ  
ÒDonÕt you want to?ÓÓNot reallyÓÓCarter- quit acting stupid. You love her really- donÕt let her goÓÓSusan- all due respect but IÕm not acting stupid. Quit bugging me about her. IÕm just sick of everything revolving around AbbyÓ  
****************** 


	3. Returning to the Past

The ER was as busy as she remembered. She only prayed Carter didnÕt have a shift today. She thought about asking at reception and then thought again. Suddenly a familiar face walked past.  
  
ÒHey- Abby!ÓÓHey SusanÓÓLong time no see!Ó  
  
Abby smiled but it was quickly wiped off her face when she rememebered what Susan being in the ER meant- Carter was here. When they had been dating Susan and Carter had swapped all their shifts on the rota so they worked together because they were still very close friends hey hadnÕt bothered to switch theem. Susan being on meant Carter was too.  
  
ÒSo how was- sorry where did you go?ÓÓOh umm PhoenixÓÓhey! I lived there. Weather good?ÓÓYeah yeah it was greatÓÓYou got family there?ÓÓUmm just my brother and heÕs not there anymore- he came back to Chicago with meÓÓOh great- maybe IÕll meet him some time!Ó  
ÒUh- yeah. Sorry Susan I gotta goÓÓOh- well- goodbyeÓ  
  
********************  
  
Erik turned up the radio another notch. He began to sing along when a knock at the door interupted him. Damn Door. He grabbed a dressing gown- it was a mans and he had no idea who it belonged too but he didnÕt want to be nosy and ask Abby.  
  
ÒHey is Abby there?ÓÓSorry- sheÕs not here at the moment- umm I think sheÕs finished workÓÓRight. Can you just tell her Carter calledÓÓSure- but hey sheÕll be back soon you wanna come in and wait?ÓÓUmm yeah- if you donÕt mindÓ  
  
Carter stepped into AbbyÕs appartment. He knew it well although he hadnÕt been here for a while now. Erik had strewn his clothes all over the floor and had the music up loud- he was certainly making himself at home. Suddenly it occured to him he had no idea why Erik was here- or how long he would be staying for.  
  
ÓSo how long you plan on staying here in Chicago?ÓÓWell- indefinately. IÕve got a job and the local firestaionÓÓYouÕre a fireman?ÓÓUh-huhÓ  
ÒWow- cool jobÓ  
ÒThanksÓ  
Carter wondered if Erik would work with Sandy Lopez. Then he wondered if Erik had a job here how long exactly he would be staying in AbbyÕs place. Erik seemed to have read his mind.   
  
ÒIÕm only staying here til I start working and can afford an appartment somewhereÓ  
  
Carter heard the latch of the door go and then in came Abby clutching a bag of groceries in the left hand.  
ÒCarterÓÓHello AbbyÓ  
  
**********************  
  
Luka looked handsome as he walked towards Susan clutching their coffees. His dark features were lit only by the dim lights of Doc Magoos sign and as he approached the bench Susan found herself strangely attracted to him.  
  
ÒThank youÓ  
ÒIts a pleasureÓ  
ÒSo whatÕs AbbyÕs brother like then?ÓÓUmm- very like Abby! HeÕs a big guy dark a couple of years younger than Abby- I dunno!ÓÓYou catch his name?ÓÓUmm... wait I know this- Ed? No. I canÕt rememeberÓ  
ÒI still canÕt get over that you had to pick her up. CarterÕs such a jerk sometimesÓÓItÕs the least I could do for her- Abby is a good friendÓÓYouÕre such a great guy LukaÓÓYouÕre not so bad yourselfÓ Suddenly Susan had a feeling she hadnÕt had in a long time. Luka leaned towards her and gently their lips touched. A jolt of electricity ran through Susan- she hadnÕt felt this good since... Carter. Slowly they pulled apart. Susan smiled and so did Luka. She hadnÕt meant for this to happen but it had felt right and she was happy- that was all that mattered- right?  
  
ÒYou uuh- wanna come back to mine?Ó  
Jesus. Why did you say that? You sound pathetic- and desperate. HeÕll think youÕre a slut. Susan Lewis you havenÕt slept with a guy since... since Erik! Maybe asking him back to yours wasnÕt such a bad idea. I mean Erik WAS a long time ago...  
  
ÒAre you sure?ÓÓLuka- shut up and kiss me againÓ  
  
**********************  
  
The silence between them was akward. Carter wanted to kick himself. Why did he have to go and mess things up? He should have picked her up from the airport- he was such a jerk. Abby was upset and uncomfortable he could tell but he just couldnÕt find the right words to say. Only one sentence seemed aproriate.  
ÒIÕm sorry AbbyÓÓOh you are. GreatÓÓI overreactedÓÓI KNOW! Carter I needed to get away only for a week.ÓÓI was just so worried about youÓÓI left a noteÓÓA note- is that all I mean to youÓÓIÕd be suprised if I even meant a note to you I mean- you sonÕt love me do you.Ó  
ÒAbbyÓÓJohn- go. Just goÓ  
  
********************  
  
  
Luka leaned over to hug Susan again. He wrapped his arms around her warm body, softly stroking her skin. She turned around to face him and he leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. She smiled and returned his kiss with one of her own. Beams of sun shone down on them and warms both their faces. Luka could lay here forever.  
  
ÒI have a shift in an hourÓÓDonÕt get upÓÓLuka I have to get readyÓÓ5 more minutesÓÓLuka if I donÕt get up now I never willÓÓThat sounds okay to meÓ  
ÒLukaÓÓSusanÓ  
ÒIÕm getting up nowÓ  
The shower water was cold but Susan remained under it. After last night she definately needed a cold shower! Her and Luka wasnÕt ever meant to happen but it just- well did. But then there was Carter. The last week had all been about Carter for her and in a way she coulddnÕt help feeling like the wrong man was lying in her bed right now. She didnÕt quite know hoe she had got herself into this mess. Her emotions were just so mixed up right now. She was attracted to Luka- seriously attracted to Luka but she just didnÕt know if there could ever be more than a sexual attraction between them. Her and Carter... well there just seemed like there was something deeper there.  
  
Susan stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself up in a towel. She could hear Luka getting dressed outside the door- he must be working today as well. She slowly opened the door and popped her head round it. Luka was no longer in her bedroom. She opened the door completely and walked into the room. She got dressed and hung up her soaking wet towel before leaving the bedroom and going into the kitchen. There was so no sign of Luka but there was a not on top of her microwave.  
  
Susan  
  
I had to go- sorry. ItÕs kind of an emergency. IÕll see you at work later. Last night was great.  
  
Luka  
  
*********************** 


	4. The Waiting Game

Chapter 4: The waiting Game  
  
  
John Carter stood outside County Cook general not wanting to go in. He held a cup of coffee in his right hand and was currently panicking about what to say to Abby. It had begun to snow and he wasnÕt exactly sure what he was waiting outside in the cold for- he just couldnÕt face seeing her at the moment.  
  
ÒCarter!Ó  
Susan called his name both loudly and clearly but he didnÕt respond. He was obviously upset- either that or crazy. Snow was falling quite rapidly now and it was freezing but Carter was standing motionless- he must be freezing.  
  
ÒCarter!Ó  
She called once again and this time got a response- if you can call it that. Carter turned around and attempted a smile. It was actually quite menacing although Susan was sure it wasnÕt intended that way.  
  
ÒYou okay?ÓÓNot reallyÓÓWhatÕs up now?ÓÓGuessÓÓAbbyÓÓGot it in oneÓÓWhatÕs happened John?Ó   
Susan reached up and touched his cheek. It felt like ice.  
  
ÒYouÕre freezing. LetÕs get insideÓ  
********************  
  
ÒFrank have you seen Dr Lewis?ÓÓSorry Luka- she hasnÕt come in yetÓÓOkay- thanks anywayÓ  
  
Frank turned and whispered in JerryÕs direction.  
  
ÒThere is definately something going on between those twoÓ  
  
Luka smiled to himself. That man has the loudest voice in this place but he still seems to think no one can hear him. But is there something going on between me and Susan?  
  
********************  
  
Erik pulled his leather jacket over his clothes and wrapped a scarf around his neck. He closed the door behind him. Locking it with the spare key he now owned. He didnÕt like imposing on Abby like this but he had no where else to stay and no money- yet. He didnÕt start working at the friestation for another week and so she was stuck with him for a while yet.   
  
He stepped out into the cold Chicago air and suddenly his breath had gone. Phoenix was definately very different to here. He liked Chicago though- except for the weather. There was loads of great places to eat and the houses and apartments here were amazing- it was also easy to find work. But he still missed Phoenix. There was no way he could move back there though- it just held too many painful memories. He was going to make a fresh start in Chicago- and hopefully mend his broken heart.  
  
*******************  
  
Susan slumped against her locker without the energy to move. She had been rushed off her feet all day- and she hadnÕt had ANY sleep the night before. I blame Luka. She started to wonder where exactly Luka was and what exactly the emergency he had to rush off to this morning was when the man himself enetered the room.  
  
ÒWell hello stranger- where did you head off to in such a rush this morning?Ó  
ÒSorry about that I just had something to doÓ  
ÒWhat did you have to do that was so important?ÓÓI just had to do somethingÓÓOk- if you really donÕt wanna tell meÓÓNo I donÕt think I shouldÓ  
ÒSo you wanna do something tonight?ÓÓSure- what do you want to do?ÓÓUmm- I donÕt really mindÓÓHow about you come over to mine? IÕll cookÓÓYou cook?ÓÓSure I cook- so you fancy it?ÓÓYeah- but I donÕt really know where your appartment isÓÓIÕll give you the address- you got a pen?ÓÓSure hereÓ  
ÒThere you- come over about 6?ÓÓIÕll see you laterÓ  
  
And with that Luka walked out back into the ER. Susan smiled. It had been quite a while since a guy asked her back to his house. In fact she hadnÕt had dinner in a guys house since... Erik. Why did she keep thinking about him recently? He was her past- back in Phoenix- and it was all over now.  
  
She picked up her stethoscope and looped it over her neck. She only had... 2 hours and 12 minutes left of her shift. Her feet ached still and she felt a slight headache coming on. She pushed open the lounge door and then headed in the direction of the exit. She needed a bit of fresh air and the ER had quieten down. Suddenly she saw him. Walking in from the street into the ER. Before she had time to hide he had seen her. What was he doing here?  
  
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	5. Crash and Burn

By the way I apologise for the symbols I have a mac and its so annoying they just appear when I upload things! I donÕt write it with them there!  
  
Chapter 5: Crash and Burn  
  
All he could do was stare. There before him lay the woman he had loved for almost 4 years. Since the moment he met her in Phoenix he had been hooked. He had broken her heart- he knew that. It had never meant to happen. Chloe had gotten drunk again and Erik had found her in the middle of the road crying. He was comforting her and she had kissed him. He hadnÕt kissed her back but Susan had seen them and by then it was too late- the damage had already been done. Susan forgave her sister but not him. Without knowing it- Susan had broken his heart too. Now as he stood staring at her all the feelings came back. He knew she had moved away but never in a million years would he have guessed she would come back to Chicago. And now here they were just standing and staring.  
  
He had broken her heart- he knew he had. That day when she found him and Chloe kissing in the middle of the road had been the worst of her life. They had been together almost 3 years when it happened and she never thought Erik would break her heart- but he did. And so she moved on- first to Charlie her cowboy boyfriend and after they broke up back home to Chicago. He just had to turn up and ruin everything again didnÕt he.   
  
ÒSusan!Ó  
Before he could say anything else she ran. Past nurses, doctors and paitents getting faster and faster and faster until something- or more importantly- someone got in her way.  
  
ÒHey Susan- slow downÓ  
  
Carter could see that something was wrong. Susan had been running at warp speed 20 and had nearly steamrolled him when the collided. She had tears running down her face and bloodshot eyes. She was crying now- harder and harder. Carter hugged her softly bringing her in towards him and surrounding her with his warmth. Suddenly Erik appeared from around the corner.  
  
ÒHey Erik- you looking for AbbyÓ  
ÒNo actually...Ó  
ÒGo away Erik Just goÓ Susan mumbled her words keeping her head facing Carter chest  
ÒYou know Erik?ÓÓYeah- how do you know Erik?Ó  
ÒErik is AbbyÕs brotherÓ  
ÒSusan- you know Abby?ÓÓI didnÕt know she was your sister- her name is Lockhart right?ÓÓShe was married and never changed it.ÓÓCan someone explain to me how you two know each other?ÓÓMe and Susan...ÓÓWe dated, Carter, we datedÓ  
ÒRightÓÓLook I think I better goÓÓI think you betterÓ  
  
Susan and Carter both watched Erik walk away into the busy crowds of the ER. Tears looked like they were welling up in SusanÕs eyes and she rubbed them furiously.  
  
ÒSusan...ÓÓWhatÓÓAre you okay? I mean what the hell went on between you two?ÓÓItÕs just a shock. I moved here to get away from him- he broke my heartÓÓI canÕt believe you never knew he was AbbyÕs brother.Ó  
ÒWell I never knew Abby back then- remember?ÓÓBut you never met any of his family?ÓÓNope- he didnÕt like to talk about it. All I knew was he had a sister, he never knew his dad and his mum had bi-polar.ÓÓItÕs just strange isnÕt it?ÓÓyeah- I canÕt believe heÕs back. Do you know how long heÕs staying for? I mean IÕm just hoping itÕs a fleeting visitÓÓI hate to be he one to break this to you- but I think he might be staying here a while- heÕs got a job at the firestationÓÓOh.My.God. I think it might be time to move back to PhoenixÓÓSusan donÕt even joke about that- you canÕt move backÓÓWhy not?ÓÓI would miss you too muchÓ  
  
**************************************************************  
  
From the roof you could see the whole of Chicago almost. The city was buzzing- bright lights were everywhere and the noise was amazing. Hundreds of bars and clubs played an aray of different songs and at night these all joined together in one solida harmony- from up on the roof it was more like a gentle purring. Carter took a deep breath of the cold night air and gave out a loud sigh. He missed Susan.   
  
Today when she saw Erik again she had needed him for the first him in a long, long time. Her warm body had surrounded him and he felt like he was protecting her. Protecting her from everything in the world that would- or could- ever hurt her and in a strange way he liked it. Protecting her- being close to her again. There wasnÕt a doubt in his mind that him and Abby were over. He didnÕt need her and by the sounds of things she didnÕt need him. All he really ever wanted was Susan anyway.  
  
Abby wondered what was up with her brother. He was never, ever quiet but tonight she hadnÕt got a word out of him. He had been spinning a quarter for almost half an hour and you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. Something had to be going on  
  
ÒErik are you okay?Ó  
ÒUh-huhÓÓReallyÓÓIÕm FineÓÓErik you can tell meÓÓI just saw someone I didnÕt think IÕd ever see again thats allÓÓWho?ÓÓJust a girlÓÓA girl huh? Where did you see her?ÓÓAt the hospitalÓÓThe hospital!? What was she a paitent?ÓÓNo she works thereÓÓHow do you know someone who works at county?ÓÓI knew her a long time before she worked thereÓÓWhoÓÓYou probally wonÕt know her- sheÕs called SusanÓÓWhat Susan Lewis?!ÓÓYeahÓÓERIK!?Ó  
ÒWhatÓÓWhat happened with you and Dr LewisÓÓSusanÓÓYou and SusanÓ  
ÒLook Abby itÕs none of youÕre business and too be honest I donÕt really wanna talk about itÓ  
  
********************  
  
ÒWhen are you working?ÓÓNot until tonightÓÓSeriously- me tooÓÓWe have all day together thenÓ  
ÓLuka- are we a couple now?ÓÓAfter last night- I think soÓÓBut no-one knowsÓÓI know but- does it really matter?ÓÓNo it doesnÕt but they have to find out sometimeÓÓI know- when they find out they find out. Wait a minute I have something for youÓÓYou do?ÓÓYeah- one minuteÓ  
ÒHurry up...ÓÓOkayÓ  
ÒHere you goÓÓWow- Luka- you really didnÕt have to do thisÓ  
ÒYou like them?ÓÓI love themÓ 


	6. Building Bridges

Chapter 6 Building Bridges  
  
Carter dropped his two dollar bills into the waitresses hands and took his coffee. He took a sip and then walked back outside. He glanced around outside the hospital searching for anyone he knew before going inside. He needed to speak to Abby- and urgently.  
  
Abby looked around for Carter. He had swapped todayÕs shift around with Luka. He must have somewhere to go tonight- I wonder where? She had only been at the hospital an hour but already she was exhausted. They had been rushed off their feet but it was finally quietening down.  
  
ÒHey Abby!Ó  
ÒHey CarterÓÓI havenÕt seen you in a whileÓÓYeah- I think we need to talkÓÓSo do IÓ  
ÒYou reckon we can escape to Doc Magoos?ÓÓNot really- the lounge do?ÓÓSure- lets hope itÕs emptyÓ  
  
********************  
  
ÒLuka you really didnÕt have to buy me earringsÓÓDoes that mean you donÕt like them?ÓÓNo I love them really I just- weÕve only been together a few days- itÕs all a bit muchÓÓI missed your birthday- I felt badÓÓYou really didnÕt have to- and you didnÕt even know me on my birthday I was still in PhoenixÓÓI know but I wanted to get you them- they are prettyÓÓIs that what you went to get the other day?ÓÓYeah. I had such a good time that night- and last night. I just thought. Even if we break up or decide its not right- you have something to remind how good it wasÓÓThank you- so muchÓÓIts okayÓ  
  
*********************  
  
ÒWow Susan- great earringsÓÓOh thanksÓ Susan blushed and touched at her earrings once again. She couldnÕt believe Luka had bought her earrings. I mean they had been an item about three days and they hadnÕt even told anyone yet! And she still hadnÕt worked out what her feelins towards Carter were either...  
ÒWhere did you get them?ÓÓOh someone bought them for meÓÓReally? WhoÓ  
ÒJust somone?ÓÓAhhh so youÕve got a secret admirir?ÓÓItÕs not such a secretÓ  
  
*********************  
  
Susan was still smiling when she walked into the lounge. Carter and Abby were sitting down looking very uncomfotable. He smiled when he saw Susan- she didnÕt even try. Carter she could just about handle this time in the morning, Abby- no way.  
  
ÒSorry if I interupted you- IÕll goÓÓNo- I think were done- right Abby?ÓÓWere done CarterÓ Abby gave a small smile and headed out the door. ÒHey Susan- how do you know my brother?ÓÓItÕs a long storyÓÓThe ER is practicly emptyÓ  
ÒI donÕt really want to tell itÓÓCome on- Erik wonÕt tell me anythingÓÓWell thereÕs not much to tell. We dated and he broke my heart- thatÕs about it. Look IÕm sorry but I better goÓ  
ÒWait SusanÓ  
  
Carter run put after her looking back only to give Abby a look that said well done. Him and Abby were completely over now and this meant him and Susan had a chance again- but she had been getting really friendly with Luka lately...  
  
ÒSusan! Wait upÓÓHey Carter- Sorry about that I just couldnÕt face talking a bout that to Abby.ÓÓI understand. Hey you wanna go out for dinner tonight?Ó  
ÒUmm IÕm sorry but I canÕt- IÕm going out with LukaÓÓOh rightÓÓBut I can do lunch!ÓÓSure- Doc Magoos?ÓÓWhere else Carter?Ó  
ÒSee you about 1?ÓÓSureÓ  
  
********************  
  
Doc Magoos was unusually busy for a lunchtime and Carter found himself waiting for a table. When he finally got one Susan still hadnÕt arrived. He was won dering if she had forgotten and was considering leaving when he saw her rush through the doors.  
  
ÒIÕm so sorry- I got held upÓÓThats alrightÓÓCarter can I ask you something- its kinda personal?ÓÓSure...ÓÓWhat is going on with you and Abby?ÓÓWere overÓÓYou are?ÓÓYeah and I guess thats why I wanted to have lunch with youÓÓWhat- to celebrate!ÓÓHa. No- Susan. I donÕt know how to put this but uh- IÕm still in love with youÓÓYou areÓÓYeahÓÓWow I uh- didnÕt expect that!Ó  
ÒWhat do you say- I mean can we give us another go?ÓÓCarter- I didnÕt want to have to tell you like this but me and Luka are kinda- well- togetherÓÓYou and LUKA!?ÓÓYeahÓÓWhy didnÕt you tell meÓÓBecause- itÕs early days. Weve just got together and its going great but we donÕ want to be hospital gossipÓÓMy god- Susan IÕm so sorry but I just donÕt know what to sayÓ  
****************  
  
Luka finally reached the lounge. His legs ached and his back was sore. He took his finger out his mouth to inspect the papaer cut once again- it was still bleeding. He was searching for Susan but he just couldnÕt find her anywhere. He was trying to find out where she wanted to go for dinner tonight but she was no where to be found. He pushed open the door and found Abby siting by the table eating lunch.  
  
ÒYou all aloneÓÓUh-huhÓÓYou havenÕt seen Susan have you?ÓÓI think she went over to Doc Magoos with CarterÓÓWhy arenÕty you with Carter?ÓÕWe broke upÓÓOh- IÕm sorryÓÓDonÕt worry it wasnÕt exactl;y working outÓÓI thought things were going great between youÓÓNo- they were nevrr giht. DonÕt say anything but I think he still has a thing for SusanÓÓFor Susan!?ÓÓYeah- what do you think? Do you reckon she likes him?ÓÓI hope not.Ó  
ÒWhat?ÓÓUm me and Susan- were kinda seeing each otherÓ  
ÒOh my god sorryÓÓDonÕt worry about itÓ  
ÒNo- IÕm really sorry. IÕm sure nothing is going onÓ  
ÒI hope notÓÓLuka- donÕt worryÓ  
ÒYou know what- I think I might go and find herÓÓOh- okayÓ  
ÒByeÓ  
  
Well done Abby youÕve put your foot in it again. Luka and Susan!? The concept just seemed a little weird to her. Luka liked his women vunerable and Susan just seemed a little bit too together and independant for him. But she was great and Luka deserved a bit of happiness- Abby just hoped Carter didnÕt ruin it for him.  
  
*****************  
  
Luka scanned Doc Magoos with his eyes- there was no sign of them at first glance- but it was pretty busy in here. He pushed through the crowds and eventually found them sitting at a table in the corner. He felt uncomfortable iterupting them like this but he had to make sure nothing was happening.  
  
ÒUh Luka- hiÓÓHi sorry I didnÕt mean to interupt I just need a quick wordÓÕOh uh- okÓÓIm going- I think you two should be the ones having lunch together. And Luka- look after her. Shes a great womanÓÓThank you Carter I willÓ  
ÒSorry I told himÓÕItÕs okay I told AbbyÓÓYou did?ÓÓYeah- you mindÓÓNo- not at all just- I dunnoÓÓWe still on for tonight?ÓÓSure- where are we gonna go?ÓÓIÕm not sure- we could go for a meal?ÓÓUmm- I donÕ;t think IÕm in the mood to be honest. You wanna come round mine and watch a video?ÓÓSure- we can get takeoutÓÓSounds great but only if its chinese!ÓÓIÕll bring the takeoutÓÓOkay come round mine about 6?ÓÓSure- I better get going. Kerry will kill me.ÓÓI think I better get back tooÓ  
They both got up from the table Susan l;eft her money and then Luka entwined his fingers with hers.  
  
ÒWere going public?ÓÓWhy notÓ  
  
****************  
  
  
Carter was in a bad mood. Susan had turned him down completely and revealed she was in a relationship with Luka and he was dreading seeing Abby. He was pretty sure that she hadnÕt really wanted things to end and he was scared her heart was now broken courtesy of him. He never eneded relationships and this was why- he hated being the bad guy. reat- there she was. She seemed to feel the same way though and carefully disapered into an exam room. Carter let out a sigh of relief.Now all he had to dowas get through today without bumping into her or the two people walking towards him holding hands and very much in love. This day was just getting better and better...  
  
ÒCarter!ÓWhat did Abby want now. He really couldnÕt handle all this right now. All he wanted to dowas get home and into his bed. He jut didÕnÕt want to have to think about Abby or Susan or Luka anymore- he had had enough. But he couldnÕt just ignore her and so he forced a fake smile onto his face and turned around slowly to face her.  
ÒHeyÓÓYou know about LUka and SusanÓÓYeah- I think everyone doesÓÓAre you okay about it?ÓÓWhy shouldnÕt I beÓÓBecause you like her Carter- everyone can see thatÓÓLook Abby I really have to goÓÕOkay- IÕl speak to you laterÓÓYeah- maybeÓ  
  
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	7. Breaking The Rules

Chapter 7: Breaking the rules  
  
Finally the day was over. All carter wanted to do was get home and finally he was able to do it. He jammed the key in the lock hard and twisted. He through his stuff onto the floor and collapsed on the sofa. THank God it was over. This had been the day from hell. Suddenly his attention was drawn to the alcohol cabinet opposite him. Although he was a recovering alcoholic there was always some form of alcohol in the Carter mansion. Gamma liked a glass of wine and his grandfather had also been a whiskey man. Carter got up and unlocked the door. He opened up the cabinet and picked up a bottle of malt whiskey. He loved this stuff. His emotions were going crazy. His heart started to pound and he could feel his mouth going dry. He was sweating- lots. He reached forwards for a glass and cracked open the bottle. He poured himself a bit and then stood with the glass in his hand for a while. Then finally he rose the glass to his lips and poured in into his mouth. As the whiskey went down his throat it burned but he felt fantastic. Hiss adrenaline was at at all time high and he poured himself a second glass. He knew this was wrong- he was an alcoholic, He repeated it over and over in his mind. You are an alcoholic. You are an alcoholic. You are an alcoholic. He knew he shouldnÕt be drinking but somehow that made it even better.  
  
  
*******************  
  
Susan and Luka sat as close as possible. They were watching Minority Report- it had just come out on video and although the film was great they werenÕt really watching much of it. Finally the credits began to roll but the pair hardly noticed. Luka picked Susan up- her legs were wrapped around his waist- and carried her into the bedroom. It looked like Susan would be tired again tomorrow.  
  
******************  
  
Susan was awoken by the phone ringing. She looked over at the clock it was 4 am- who would be calling at this time? Surely it couldnÕt be the ER? She pulled herself out of the bed- untangling herself from Luka. She tried not to wake he up but it didnÕt work. He jumped up startled. She picked up the phone trying to concentrate as he wrapped his arms around her waist and gently began to kiss her shoulder.  
  
ÒLuka- WE have to go to the ERÓÓWhat!?ÓÕQuickly we have to goÓ  
ÒSusan wait- what's wrongÓÓCarter is in the ER I donÕt know what's wrong. Look are you coming or notÓÓIm coming- I think we better get dressed first thoughÓ  
  
*******************  
  
The more she thought about it the worse SusanÕs thoughts got. She didnÕt want to think about what could have happened to Carter but thankfully it didnÕt sound like he was critical. Luka had a firm grip on her hand. It hadnÕt loosened since they had got into his car and now they were walking into County Cook general and it was as tight as ever. SHe was grateful for him being there- without him she wouldnÕt have known how to handle this but he had kept her clam throughout it all.   
  
Abby was already at the hospital desk quizzing Frank about what had happened.  
  
ÒWhats going on?Ó Susan was even more glad of Luka being here now. Her throat was dry and itchy and she didnÕt think she would have been able to speak at all at this very moment let alone loudly and clearly like Luka had.  
  
ÒIÕm sorry guys but I really donÕt know. All I know is Carter has been drinking and heÕs gonna be fine. I think heÕs upstairs but I really canÕt help youÓÓShit, heÕs been drinkingÓ  
ÒHow long you been here Abby?ÓÓOnly a few minutes. I got a callÓÓUs tooÓÓI just want to see himÓLuka squeezed her hand even tighter than before. She clung to him hard. Her head hurt and her knees felt weak. She was freezing. In her rush out of the house she had forgotten to wear a jumper and was standing in the lobby with only a t-shirt and pair of jeans on to keep her warm. Luka must have felt her shaking because he pulled off his jumper and gave it to her. It was warm and smelt of Luka and she wished she was somewhere else right now. Things were just going right with her and Luka- she had forgotten all about Carter and suddenly here he was again... ÒSusan- Abby- LukaÓÓHey KerryÓÓHow is he?ÓÓHeÕs okay. HeÕs had his stomach pumped and his gonna feel kinda bad tomorrow but otherwise heÕs okayÓÓHe was drinking?ÓÓYeah a hell of a lotÓÓI canÕt believe him. HeÕs like a teenager. You dragged me out of bed when I am going to be working it three hours because he got drunkÓ  
ÒSusan- it was a bit more serious than thatÓÓNo Abby- itÕs not. I canÕt believe himÓÓSusan calm downÓÓI want to see him- NowÓÓHeÕs asleepÓÓOh dear. I was asleep that didnÕt stop you getting me upÓÓSusan I brought you and Abby here because of CarterÕs drinking problems in the past. Look. He didnÕt just drink- he took some paracetemol as wellÓÓHow much?ÓÓWe donÕt know exactly but it looks like almost a whole bottleÓÓYou think it was a suicide attempt?ÓÓWe think soÓ  
**********************  
  
ÒCarter. Carter. Carter- come on Carter- wake upÓÓI feel terribleÓ  
CarterÕs eyelids began to flutter open. His head pounded- hard. He couldnÕt work out where he was. The bed wasnÕt his own and this place smelt strangely. He recognised it but couldnÕt quite place where he was. He didnÕt recognise the voice either but all he was concentrating on now was the pain. It pounded harder and harder. With every beat of his heart and smash went through his brain. After a few minutes the pounding eased. He opened his eyes fully and pushed himself upright. There in front of him sat Susan- why was she here?Ó  
ÒCarter- youÕre in the hospital- what you did last night was really stupidÓ  
  
Carter still couldnÕt work out why he was here and why she was sitting in front of him. He tried to remember the previous nights events but it was all just a blur. Suddenly the door opened and a man came in. At first Carter was unsure of who it was but as he came closer he recognised LukaÕs broody Croatian face. He linked his hand with SusanÕs and passed her a coffee. He said nothing but whatever Carter had done last night Luka was not pleased about. I obviously interrupted a night of passion he thought to himself.  
  
ÒSorry- I have no idea what happened to meÓ  
"You had a little too much to drinkÓ  
From what carter could make out Susan was a wreck. And from the way Luka was answering questions directed at her- she was also unable to speak.   
  
ÒHuh?ÓÓCarter- you took some pills- you donÕt remember?ÓÓNo- pills no I didnÕtÓÓYou did John. They had to pump your stomach. Me and Abby both got called last nightÓÓYouÕve been here all night?ÓÓWe were really worriedÓ  
ÒYou were?ÓÓEveryone wasÓ  
Did I ask you? Carter hated Luka. And he hated it even more than Luka had something else that was his- Susan. She had been crying- all night by the looks of things. Her hair was shoved up and she had no makeup on but she looked fantastic. The sun glistened off her hair and dispite being slightly sore looking her eyes sparkled. Some people were naturally beautiful- Susan was one of them. Luka knew just how lucky he was. He had now lopped his arm around her shoulder and she was leaning back into his chest. He kissed her forehead lightly and she smiled. They looked very much in love. Suddenly something clicked and it all came running back to Carter. He remembered why he was here. Last night had all started with a glass of whiskey and from there it was all downhill- drowning his sorrows hadnÕt worked. He hadnÕt being trying to kill himself- just forget all the troubles he had been having recently. He was kind of hoping they would have disappeared by the time he woke up- they hadnÕt.  
  
****************  
  
The door once again creaked open. Susan leaned forward from her resting place on Lukas chest to see who was there. It was Kerry Weaver. She held a chart in her hand and had a doctors coat in the other.  
ÒSusan- I need you to work. IÕm sorry but itÕs packed down there and were already once doctor downÓ She signalled at Carter.  
ÒKerry- I need to stay here with Carter- I havenÕt had any sleep all nightÓÓSusan-IÕm sorry but I need you down thereÓÓIÕll do itÓ  
  
Luka got up from his chair, kissed SusanÕs head and took the coat from KerryÕs hand. He pulled it on and took the chart from her other hand.  
  
ÒLuka- you donÕt have to do thatÓÓDonÕt worry Susan- IÕll come back up at lunchÓÓOkay- thank you so muchÓ  
ÒDonÕt worry about itÓ ÒThat was nice of himÓÓI know it was- he has to work tonight as well CarterÓÓWhat- thatÕs my fault?ÓÓYeah it isÓÓNo-one asked him to be hereÓÓCarter he was with me. He was looking after meÓÓYou needed looking after?ÓÓYes Carter I needed looking after. You freaked me out- you freaked us all out. I thought you were dead. I got a phone call in the middle of the night telling me you were here and I should come down here immediately- I needed looking afterÓÓSusan, IÕm sorryÓÓItÕs not me you should be apologising to- itÕs Luka.ÓÓNo-one asked him to come down here- he came of his own free willÓÓCarterÓ  
ÒIÕm sorry- IÕm sorry he had to come here. IÕll cover his shift tonightÓÓWhat you think youÕll be able to? DonÕt be so stupid CarterÓÓIÕm only trying to helpÓÓWell youÕre not. IÕm tired and I just want to collapse- I donÕt want to argueÓÓGo home- sleepÓÓNo- IÕm here to be with youÓ  
  
There was an awkward silence. Carter sighed. He had lost SUsan and probably to a better man. Luka was kind and a nice guy- he would treat Susan how she deserved to be treated- there was no doubting that- but carter still couldnÕt give up- this was the woman he loved.  
  
ÒSusan- IÓ  
Suddenly they were interrupted by Abby walking through the door. She looked tired as well. In her left hand she clutched a coffee- and she ran the right hand through her hair.   
  
ÒHey- youÕre awakeÓÓHey- you here last night as wellÓÓAll nightÓ  
ÒIÕm sorryÓ  
ÒYou shouldnÕt be sorry for thatÓÓI shouldnÕt?ÓÓYou should however be sorry for drinking againÓÓI gave you a lecture...ÓÓAnd I will give you one once that hangover has cleared upÓÓWhat about... the other stuffÓÓYou mean the paracetemol?ÓÓYeahÓÓI think you should see someoneÓÓYou do?ÓÓYeah- Susan what do you thinkÓÓI donÕt know. Seeing someone is good- you should see someoneÓÓYou okay?ÓÓIÕm worried about Luka- heÕs workingÓÓNow?!ÓÓYeah- itÕs my shift but heÕs working it for me so I can be hereÓÓI thought he was working tonight?ÓÓHe isÓÓI already said IÕll do itÓÓCarter- donÕt be stupidÓÓSusan- heÕll be fineÓÓI know but he shouldnÕt have to do it- itÕs my shift. Look I think IÕm going to go work. I canÕt let him do thisÓÓSusan- he wonÕt let youÓÓOh yeah...ÓÓSusan...ÓÓIÕll see you guys laterÓ  
  
The door slammed and Susan walked out in the hall. She was exhausted. Her eyelids fluttered and she felt herself drifting off to sleep. She forced herself to stay awake and glanced down at her watch. 12pm. Luka would be off for lunch soon. She wandered towards the elevator. Here goes...  
  
ÒGo get her pleaseÓÓShe wonÕt come backÓÓSheÕs so tired. I mean so is Luka but she really looks a messÓÓOkay IÕll goÓ  
ÒThank youÓ  
  
************* 


	8. Heroes and Villans

Chapter 8: Heroes and Villians  
  
  
Luka glanced down at his watch. 12.15. The ER was slowly getting quieter and he wandered in the direction of the elevator. He deserved a lunch break. He really couldnt face working tonight as well. He could hear his name being called but didnt have the energy to turn around. The voice was getting nearer and becoming easier to hear. He reconised it as Kerry Weavers and reluctantly turned.  
  
Luka- go and find Susan and go home  
  
ThereÕs not much point- I have to work tonight as well  
Luka- go home and donÕt come back until tomorrow morning  
IÕm not working tomorrow morning  
Okay- tomorrow evening- look just go before I change my mind  
What about Susan  
I said take her home didnt I?  
Thank you Kerry  
  
***************  
  
Carter sat alone in the room. His head still hurt but he wanted to go home. Susan was angry and Luka had become the hero of this whole thing and Abby- well Abby.She had breezed in here and made things a little easier for him- a little too easy. It just seemed like now they werenÕt a couple she didnÕt care. Carter was an idiot and he knew it. He couldnÕt make his mind up but everything was so confusing right now. He wondered where Erik was and if Abby had spoken to him. He presumed she hadn t woken him up at whatever un- godly hour she had been called but maybe the ringing of the phone had done it?  
  
His thoughts were interupted by LukaÕs entrance into the room.  
  
Have you seen Susan?  
She left about 15 minutes ago looking for you- Abby went after her  
Damn!  
IÕm sorry Luka- I didnÕt want to have to drag you into this  
You didnÕt. I mean- I kind of dragged myself into it. Susan is a good friend of yours and she had to be there for you- I understood. She was upset- I looked after her  
How are things between you?  
They are- they are wonderful actually. SheÕs great  
I know- look after her  
You really finsihed with Abby?  
I donÕt know. IÕm just a little confused right now  
DonÕt hurt her Carter  
I wonÕt now go find Susan  
  
Bye  
  
*************  
  
Want one?  
I donÕt smoke  
So?  
No- thanks but no thanks  
Suit yourself  
  
The sky was turning grey again. Clouds were swirled in irregular patterms all over it. Sound enough they would cover all of Chicagos skyline. Abbys smoke rose up into the sky. Susan gave out a long sigh and once again scanned the area for Luka.  
  
Hes not out here  
Im just looking  
  
Things good with you guys?  
Yeah- really good  
  
I think Carter is jealous  
What?  
I think he still likes you and heÕs jealous  
That guy always wants what Luka has- is it an obbssession?  
Susan- IÕm serious he REALLY likes you  
  
He REALLY liked you  
ItÕs not the same  
ItÕs not?  
We mutally agreed to finish  
SO did me and Carter- and it was over you  
Really? I mean was it actually over me?  
Yeah- you knew that right?  
No- not really  
Well we did  
Hey- thereÕs your knight in shining armour  
Huh?  
Luka over there  
Sure enough Luka walked towards them both. He had a huge grin on his face. He must have been exhausted but you never would have known. Susan wondered why exactly Luka was so happy- he had been wokring for hours without sleep and would be working again tonight.  
  
Were going home  
  
What!?  
WeaverÕs given us the day off lets go  
Huh!  
Yeah  
  
Well IÕll see you guys later  
No look Luka I better say goodbye to Carter  
IÕll see you tomorrow then I guess...  
No- wait for me. Ill only be five minutes- you may as well come back to mine  
Ummm- ok sure  
You wanna wait here while I say goodbye  
  
Okay- Ill go get the car?  
Yeah Ill be back in one minute I promise  
  
****************  
  
Carter sat staring out of the window. Outside he could see nothing but a darkening sky- filling up with grey clouds. He was waiting to be allowed to go home but he had a orrible feeling a councillor would have to be sent in first. Just then the door opened. Carter expected it to be someone from psych. and he got a suprise when Susan walked through the door.   
  
Hey  
Hey  
I just came to say goodbye- me and Luka are going home  
together?  
Yeah- that a problem?  
No of course not I just didnÕt think youÕd been going out all that long  
We havent but hes left half his stff at my place and it makes sense to back there  
Thank you- and say the same to him- I really appreciated you coming  
Carter we all love you- just dont try anything else stupid- okay?  
I wont I just had a really bad day  
Goodbye Carter  
See ya Susan  
  
Susan left pausing at the door to turn and smile. She opened it with the little strength she had left and walked towards the elevator. Today had certainly been strange. A bad day, huh? 


	9. Ghosts

Chapter 9: Ghosts  
  
Luka was parked outside in his car. He beeped when he saw her and she quickened up her pace. She opened the door and sat down. Luka looked at her before leaning in and kissing her. She wrapped her arms around him pulling him closer towards her. Eventually they parted Luka put one hand of the steering wheel and the other over hers. He pulled away from the hospital and Susan sighed with relief. Then she saw Abby walking up the street away from the hospital. Luka must of seen her too because he looked at Susan and they exchanged glances.  
  
Give her a ride  
Luka pulled up to where Abby was walking and i opened my window.  
  
Hey Abby you want a lift?  
Uh- no- I donÕt want to cause any trouble  
  
Please- we know how tired you are  
Well okay- thanks  
  
Abby opened the door and sat down. She fastened her seatbelt and looked at Luka then me.  
  
You guys are so cute together  
  
Both Luka and Susan smiled not knowing what to say. They knew they were cute together.  
  
You remember where my house is right Luka?  
I rememeber  
  
Susan leaned forward and switched on the radio.  
  
Luka what is theis crap you have on!  
  
Hey- I like this crap  
  
  
Susan sat back and smiled. She wondered where Abby lived and then realised- Erik would be there. Hopefully she wouldnt have to see him but what if she did?The smile was wiped off her face. Luka knew nothing about Erik and her. And she just couldnt face explaing the whole story again. What was she supposed to say? Oh he kissed my sister and broke my heart?   
  
They didnt speak much again before they pulled up outside Abbys apartment. There was no sign of Erik and Susan gave out a sigh of relief. But as Abby got to the door suddenly it swung open and out he came. He looked gorgeous- even better than Susan expected. He was wearing his leasther jacket again and a pair of jeans. He had a crisp white shirt and his smile was broad. He exchanged words with Abby before looking down into the car. He looked At Susan for a while and gave her a sort of half smile. Abby looked into the car as well waving before turning back to once again address Erik.  
  
LetÕs go  
Do you know him?  
Who?  
Erik  
Ummm yeah  
How do you know him?  
Well he lived in Phoenix and I, well we, we kinda dated  
You dated!?  
Yeah for a long time actually  
And you never knew he was AbbyÕs brother?  
No- he didnÕt like to talk about his family and I didnÕt know Abby back then anyway- remember  
Why did you break up?  
Its a long story and to be honest- Id rather not talk about it  
Okay. So what are we going to do tonight?  
Luka gave Susan a cheeky smile and then leaned forward to kiss her softly on the lips.  
  
Im not all that tired- are you?  
  
**********  
  
Eric once again felt depressed. He had seen susan with- apparantly- her boyfriend. He was the croatian guy that had picked him and abby up from the airport. She looked happy and he was pleased- she deserved a bit of happiness. Abby looked upset again- she knew something was wrong but she wasnÕt saying much.   
  
Him and Susan were over- they were over a long time ago and he realised that. He just didnt want to have to have it that way. He loved her. Unfortunately for him it didnÕt look like the love was going to be returned by her.  
  
Abby knew something was wrong. Erik was so quiet these days and she was positive it had something to do with Susan. However by the looks Susan and Luka were sharing Erik didnt seem to have a chance.  
  
Erik- are you okay  
Yeah- why you ask?  
Its just you havent been your normal self since- well since you saw Susan again  
I know- its hard thats all.  
What happened between you guys?  
We dated- for a long time.  
Why did you break up?  
She saw me kissing her sister  
You kissed her sister!?  
It was a misunderstanding. Chloe had been drinking- she was in the road I tried to help her and she just kissed me. I pulled awayI didnÕt want to kiss her but Susan saw and never gave me a chance to explain  
Do you still love her?  
Yes- definately  
Then explain  
  
  
***********  
  
Susan smiled as she stroked Lukas hair gently. They were curlcled up in her bed and shehad to get up and work- but she just couldnt face it. He looked so peaceful and she didnt want to wake him but the clock beeped once again to tell her it was 7 am and she pushed him gently onto his back.   
  
She got in the shower and then dressed. She put on her make-up and searched the dresser for the earrings he bought her. Finally she found them under a lipsitck and concencer stick and she put them in her ears. Luka was stirring and as he turned again she realised he was awake.  
  
Are you going?  
I have to work  
Okay- if you have to. I am not working until 6  
I finish at 7 but I have tomorrow off  
I does start work until 6 again tomorrow so we can do something in the day?  
Sure  
  
Susan went too leave the room beofre turning around  
  
I love you Luka  
  
I love you too Susan  
  
Susan was in love with Luka- Carter and Erik were both out of the question now but she still had to deal with them. Her and Erik needed to talk- she knew that. It would be hard but she needed clarity. She needed to be able to clear the air before she could let herself fall in love again. With Carter it was more difficult. There were no words needed in a way. There was nothing between them but at the same time- everything.  
  
She worked hard all morning- there was still no sign of Carter but Abby had informed her he was working tonight instead. She was glad of him not being there- although they needed to talk she concentrated better without him. Conversation with Abby was stifled- Susan presumed it had something to do with Erik- or Carter perhaps- Abby still had a thing for him.  
  
The ER was busy but not as crazy today. Susan saw paitents with only minor prooblems and around lunchtime she found the ER almost deserted. Typical- a sunny day and everyone decides not to hurt themselves- funny, huh? She decided to go toDoc Magoos and grab a coffee and some Pie. She would have liked comapany but there were no suitable friends present at the time. She toyed with the idea of phoning Luka but decided against it and went to Doc Magoos alone.  
  
********************  
  
Erik sat alone in the almost desrted cafe. His sister loved this place but he had no idea why. He struggled to rememeber the name- Mr Magees? He coudnt rememeber but it was something along those lines. He sipped his coffee- urgh. He was considering leaving to find Abby when a familiar face walked through the door- Susan.  
  
Susan caught his eye and after a long pause headed slowly in his direction. She finally reached histable and he becokened her to take a seat. She slid along the booth until she was directly opposite him.  
  
Hi Susan She mumbled a reply  
  
Susan- I have to tell you something its really important  
Ok  
That day- when you caught me and Chloe. Well I know I have told you this a million times before but yyou need to listen this time.  
Erik just tell me  
Look I didnt want to kiss her. She was drunk again- I came to find you and I found her in the road. I pulled her to the side and she started all this crazy talk about loving me and wanting to be with me and then she just- kissed me. I pulled away but by then it was too late  
Erik- I donÕt want to hear all this again.  
But Susan you have to believe me  
  
Susan had never really listened to Erik before but he seemed vunerable now. She looked into his puppy dog brown eyes and all he seemed was truthful and vunerable and tired- tired of fighting and tired of trying. For the first time she believed him.  
  
Susan I love you still. I never stopped loving you- I never will  
And you think I didnÕt love you? It hurt so, so much seeing you kiss Chloe. The pain was almost unbearable- I just cant forget it all  
I know- but you broke my heart too Susan  
  
Erik covered Susans hands with his own. A tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it away with her sleeve. She looked up at Erik.   
  
IÕm a doctor- Im suppossed to cure everything but a broken heart is the only thing I couldnt fix. If there was anything else wrong with me I could fix it- but I couldnt fix what you did.  
Susan- do you reckon theres any chance of us again?  
No Erik IÕm sorry but there isnt. Maybe you are telling the truth and you didnt kiss Chloe but you still broke my heart and I dont think we can ever go back. I love Luka now  
You love that guy?  
Yeah I do. Im sorry but I have to move on- Phoenix and you are my past, Luka and Chicago are my future  
  
I love you  
I love you too- but this wont work  
  
I know  
Your a great guy Erik- youÕll make a girl very happy one day  
I just wish that girl could be you  
Susan smiled and leaned forward to kis Erik on the Cheek. She stood up shortly followed by him and they hugged. She leaned backwards.  
  
Goodbye Erik  
Goodbye Susan Lewis- IÕll miss you  
IÕll miss you too  
And with that Susan left Doc Magoos. A tear rolled down her cheek again and then she smiled. Finally the past was behind her but the memories still stung. At least finally it was all behind her- he had broken her heart but at least she could be sure it wasnt on purpose. Now she only had Carter to deal with.  
  
*********************** 


	10. Soaring and Falling

Chapter 10: Soaring and Falling  
  
Mark loved this placeMore than anyone I ever knewIt was more than a workplace to him really  
Thats why I love it so much now- it reminds me of him  
  
Carter sat on the bench and Susan could see the tears forming in his eyes and could feel the tears forming in hers. She missed Mark so much. Carter was the only one she could ever really talk to about Mark. Apart from Elizabeth- who she didnÕt like to upset nd Kerry- who never showed her emotions no-one else really knew Mark like her and Carter did. He had been a great mentor and friend to them both.  
  
I miss him so much CarterI dont like being reminded of himHuh?You said this place reminded you of him and thats why you love it. Thats why I hate this place.  
I like to rememeber him and he will always be remembered hereIts just rememebring hurts so muchi Know- much they are all good memoriesHe loved you- ya knowI know- I always knew. I loved him too  
You think you could ever love anyone like that again?No- never. I think I will fall in love again- I think I have but I will never love someone like that again. He was everything I ever wanted I was just too stupid and blind to see  
Friendship is always the best kind of loveI love you Carter- dont leave me please  
  
With that Susan burst into an uncontorallable flood of tears. They poared down her cheek and off her face. Carter held her close whilst trying to hold back the tears himself. Susan was all he had left now.  
Ill never leave you- I promise.  
  
After about 10 minutes of sitting in an embrace Susan finally pulled away from Carter. She wiped her eyes and smiled.  
  
Thank you CarterThats okay. Susan do you really love LukaYeah I think I doGood Luck- youll make him very happy. HeÕs a lucky guyIf you like Abby- go get herIll never leave you Susan- I promise  
Thank you Carter  
I better get goingI think Im just gonna sit here for a whileAnd remember?Yeah  
  
With that Carter left and Susan realised she had done exactly what she had set out to do today. She knew her and Erik were over- the chapter was finally closed. Her and Carter- they would always be there. Like Mark- she would always love Carter and he would always love her. It just wasnt the kind of love she was looking for. Luka- she guess she loved him but she wasnt going to rush into anything crazy.  
  
After all,  
  
the higher you go- the harder you fall. 


End file.
